After the miscarriage

We were so sad and discouraged. We have decided, that maybe after all it was not a right time and we should probably wait to see IF we want to try again... I did actually know personally few people who has had a miscarriage and how high rate was. So, I was thinking to myself, what are the odds to get three successful pregnancies in row? In a weird way I was not surprised by my miscarriage. Crushed and shocked never the less. To make matters worse I had to deal with telling kids about it - I wasn't planning to tell them, but i was forced to by them jumping on me and saying "mommy doesn't have a baby in her tummy, right?" (they were around my pregnant friend a lot - so that's what got them thinking in that direction) i guess they were right after all :(
And if that was not enough was not healing physically they way it was expected. I will not quit bleeding. I had to go back to ER at one point. They put me on birth control to stop bleeding. Thankfully it did help, but I was such a mess on the pills - I was literally crying over 10 times a day. 
Time went by and everything seemed to go back to normal... More or less. In the second half of January we took a little day trip and I got motion sick on the way down from the mountain. That was really weird as I never get motion sick when I am well. I still hasn't got my period. Which was not in itself too suspicious - as it can take a little extra time to get back on track after miscarriage. However getting motion sick got me really thinking... We took a pregnancy test -  and it was POSITIVE! 
I can not begin to describe all the mixed emotions... Terrified. Stressed. Scared. Excited. Hopeful to heal from the unsuccessful pregnancy with a good one. Scared that it will not go great even more likely, since it was so close to the miscarriage. And on top of all it was just unbelievable. 
But we had no other choice than to make a piece with this and hope for the best and try to be happy. For a week or two that is.